The Secret Mindset of Olympians with Leah Amico

[00:00:00] Leah: Sometimes it's someone to go adventure with. Whatever that is, to keep filling your cup. Because when all of us are being filled, then we can keep overflowing.

[00:00:07] Kate: It can get toxic in sports at time, and you just are so grounded. What was that experience like as a child?

[00:00:13] Leah: Keep that at the heart of everything that I do, because I might walk into new settings, and like you mentioned, I don't have the name or the notoriety, but I still have what I can bring.

[00:00:23] Kate: One of my other favorite leadership characteristics too, is the people who are genuinely interested in us versus those who are trying to get us genuinely interested in them.

[00:00:33] Leah: And I think too many people think you got to step on other people in order to get up. And I think we just can rise together.

[00:00:39] Kate: So many things that are cultural norms, 99% of them are about stuffing, suppressing, not feeling-- drugs, alcohol. And it hurts my heart.

[00:00:49] Leah: I'm going to be authentic and go all in. Pressure is a privilege. You're all you can take care of, your attitude and your effort. Nobody else can do it for you.

[00:01:00] Kate: Hey, there. Welcome back to Rawish with Kate Eckman. Here today with three-time Olympic Gold Medalists with USA softball, Leah Amico. Leah, welcome to Rawish.

[00:01:11] Leah: Thank you. I'm so excited to be on your show.

[00:01:13] Kate: I am so excited. I usually do a much longer intro, and you're someone who certainly warrants that. Besides that, you have won so many other world championships. You're a commentator on ESPN with Westwood One, and you have achieved so much in your career while being a mother no less.

[00:01:33] I think of someone competing at that level, winning the Olympics and either being pregnant or having a small child, and I suddenly feel like an underachiever. So how does one go about even doing all of that at once? And I know you're a woman, and we juggle pretty marvelously, but that in itself is quite a feat, Leah.

[00:01:57] Leah: Yeah. I think it starts out with the drive in what you want. And when you're like, "Ooh, I really want this." Okay, what am I willing to do, and how can I make it all work? And I was actually in college in my first Olympics. I was one of four that were not out of college yet. And so graduated a year after I won my first gold medal.

[00:02:15] Then I had actually gotten married in between the first two. And so I had two gold medals. I was 25 years old, and I was like, "Man, I still want to compete." I still have this passion inside of me. I know I'm not done. But I also want to be a mom, and you have to wait four years, and you have to try out every single year with USA softball.

[00:02:31] So I thought, well, I'm going to try to do both. I hadn't seen it done with USA softball yet, and so I took a summer off, had my son Jake, and then I got to training. I actually had a C-section, so it took a little bit longer. But as soon as I was released, I was at the batting cages. I hired a personal trainer. I got in the best shape of my life. Was able to make the team that next summer. And when my son was three was when I won gold in Athens with Team USA.

[00:02:58] Kate: I feel like I've met my energetic match here, because I'm just like, woo, vibrating. We can certainly feel and experience your passion and your energy and your drive, which it certainly takes to be a mom and do nothing else. To be an Olympic athlete and do nothing else. But combining all of these things, and you say, well, okay, you were young. Because I do look at some people now like, how are they doing all of that? And I'm like, "They're 20 years younger than you."

[00:03:25] Leah: Yes.

[00:03:26] Kate: But where does that drive come from? I feel it in you innately, but there's something we have to dig a little bit to even have the audacity to think and believe that you can do all of that and do all of it at once really well, no less.

[00:03:44] Leah: I think like it really starts from what is right before me and taking advantage of every moment. And I think if I look too far ahead, I probably would talk myself out of most stuff. And so I think for me, it's like, okay, when I was in high school and I was 14, I won a national championship with softball.

[00:04:01] I was the winning pitcher at the time, and I was like, "Okay, college." So it was a few years around, but that's the goal. I was the first one in my family to go to a four-year college. And then when I got to college was when they said softball's going to be in the Olympics for the first time ever.

[00:04:13] And so again, that was a few years away, but I was like, "Oh my gosh, that's the goal." So it almost gave more purpose to right now. But then it was like, okay, well. And I think it's that importance of shifting immediately back of like, what is before me and what do I have to do today if that is the goal.

[00:04:29] And I have to tell you, there was one moment when I made my last Olympic team. They named it a year out. I was so excited, so honored, all the work I'd put in, and then we sat at camp, and again, my son was two at that time, going to be three right before the Olympics. And I looked at the schedule and how packed it was for the entire year, and I had tears in my eyes. And I was like, "I don't know how I'm going to do it. How am I going to be mom and do it?"

[00:04:51] Because before I juggle juggled, it worked, and I talked to a friend. It was a mentor, and he basically said, "You're going to do it one day at a time because you can do anything one day at a time." And that was it. It was a mind shift. And I was like, "That's all I can take care of." I can't look. I know the podium is the goal, and I know it's a year away, but right now, today, I just have to take advantage.

[00:05:13] Kate: Ooh, that just gave me the chills because I wanted to just ask you-- I have some big tasks coming up, and how I manage it is I put on Taylor Swift and I think, gosh, I'm so tired. I'm like, "She did the Eras tour for two years straight, a nearly four hour show." I went to three of them, and I was exhausted at the end, and I didn't even perform or do anything.

[00:05:33] So I'll put her on if I have to move or clean the house or unpack or some big task, and I'm just like, if Taylor can do it, I can do it. And I love that she's a woman too. And so I'm going to add you to that list because I'm getting ready to pack and move. And just the thought of it is making me sick to my stomach, nauseous, like I'm pregnant and have to play in the Olympics, which I am not and don't have to.

[00:05:54] So I'm going to put on Taylor and think of you now, Leah. Thank you for that. And anyone listening, I want them to think of you because it is not just day by day or minute by minute, but something someone said to me years ago is, breath by breath. And you know that as a mom and someone who's been in labor, it is. They're always telling you to breathe, and it's lots of breathing while you're delivering a baby and giving birth and life.

[00:06:19] So what else can we embody? I love it because you even have your book and your trainings, The Gold Standard, and speak about it. But what is the gold standard of just breath by breath, day by day when we're juggling and managing so much? And I thought the other day, our little old lives, there's enough to manage, and now there's this collective of just, it seems like, nonstop stress in the world.

[00:06:44] What is that Leah Amico gold standard that even the simplest of tasks of getting the kids off to school or getting out of bed and starting your day?

[00:06:54] Leah: When I talk about the gold standard, obviously I was able to achieve gold, but it was about doing the little things with excellence. And again, what's right before me? I like the acronym WIN, what's important now? If you want to win each day, each moment, think about what's important now, because sometimes we think too far ahead.

[00:07:11] Sometimes we keep looking back, and we get stuck. And so for me, especially when I get overwhelmed, I remind myself like, this is part of the process. You're going to get through this part. Emotions will come and go. So what can you do about it? Because what I found is action usually took the feelings and set them aside a little bit.

[00:07:31] So it was like, what action can I take that can then start me either working through this, getting beyond it? And that's just, I think, what I talk about, is like, as well as sometimes calling a person, for me, I go to prayer. My faith is really important. And just this idea of almost taking a step back.

[00:07:49] Because if you can actually get perspective, it can just change everything. You can go like, "Whoa, okay. Okay, I am either overthinking this or like I'm carrying this burden and I actually don't have to. I'm choosing to." My coach, my Olympic coach used to say to us, "Pressure is a privilege. You're all you can take care of, your attitude and your effort. Nobody else can do it for you."

[00:08:11] And so if I have a bad attitude, I literally listen to his words, and I would say like, "I'm choosing that." Okay, then I'm going to choose to shift it. And I think if we take our own accountability, everything can change.

[00:08:22] Kate: Mm. That was so beautiful and perspective. I think at this point, many of us, especially those of us on a healing journey or who are dedicated and committed to a path of personal and professional development, we've heard all the things or a lot of the things.

[00:08:38] And perspective, we've certainly all heard about perspective and mindset and accountability, and I'd love for you to break it down even more, get even a layer underneath that, because that helps so much. It's instead of like, I have to, it's the I get to. Or instead of, oh my gosh, I can't believe I have to move again. It's turning it into almost that childlike wonder of, oh my gosh, I get to go on this wild adventure.

[00:09:04] And on one hand I'm like, "Oh, I wish I had a partner to help with some of this physical and emotional labor." And it's like, well, because you don't have some of these things, you're able to put everything in storage and go to Europe for however long you want and work from there. Because I can work from anywhere in the world. And then how great that's your thing.

[00:09:21] So you could get caught up in the, I don't have this or that, or that stability or that certainty or that security, but then it's like, I have freedom and liberation and choice. And so it is getting into that perspective.

[00:09:34] But even someone as fabulous as you, I'm sure, had a moment, and we're all human, where maybe you wanted to throw in the towel or you're like, "Gosh, my perspective is really off today. It must be the hormones." What does someone of your caliber do when even you've maybe lost hope or drive or the energy to keep fighting?

[00:09:55] Leah: Yeah. And first and foremost, for me it is my faith because, in college, really, that just became a part of who I am and where I found my identity and just gave me a different perspective. And then outside of that, I personally feed off of people. And I have found that, one, it's maybe calling a friend that is, I know, going to speak life into me, going to be able to listen, and yet point me back in the direction of like, you got this. You're okay.

[00:10:23] And then obviously I have my family and my husband, and they're there. And then other times it's just like, I just got to get into an environment and be around people. Because what's going to happen is now I'm going to take the focus off of just this inward.

[00:10:35] And I think what happens is a lot of times we isolate when things get so bad and we tend to go internal. And generally, I do the opposite. And so I think I get it out and I almost don't carry it anymore. And it helps me a ton. I think it's how I process things. I think it's how I can get wisdom from other people.

[00:10:53] And then again, I wasn't seeing it that way, but it helps me. And so even on COVID, I had a period of time where I'm generally very positive, upbeat. I'm the one kind of lifting everyone else, but I had a week that it was rough.

[00:11:06] And I just was like, "Whoa. I recognize it immediately." And I was like, "Okay, what makes me happy? What makes me joyful?" I went down to the beach with a friend, and I'm telling you, it changed everything. I just needed something to uplift you, but you have to know yourself. Then you have to choose to actually walk into those steps.

[00:11:25] And that's helped me so much, and then I therefore can help others. Or one other thing is really like helping others in need, serving others, giving to others. That immediately lifts you. And I learned that-- you might know this too, but I learned that through sports. You're having a rough day. You're struggling. You're in a slump. It's like, start cheering for your teammates. Start picking them up. Because all of a sudden, your mindset shifts as well.

[00:11:49] Kate: Yeah. And I think just on a team everyone has their position in softball, at swimming. Everyone has their events, how they contribute to the overall team and team score. It's also knowing your role in that team. For me, I was the team clown. I was the one singing really badly on the side of the pool, making everybody laugh.

[00:12:07] If someone was down, I was being silly and making a joke. And I was also hardcore. If someone, I saw them loafing in practice, I was getting on them like the coach and yell at them, like, "Come on." And reminding them who they are. So everyone has that role. And then I had people that were maybe a little more calm and soothing energy for me when I got a little hotheaded. So it's knowing that role in life and who you can turn to for that boost, and knowing they'll come to you when they need it as well.

[00:12:32] What is something that you did to really help you get to know yourself? Because I talk about this concept a lot too. We have to know who we are, what we really want. And people say, "Oh yeah, I know who I am and what I really want." But then in crisis, maybe they don't know. Or when it comes to, do I want to be a mom or do I want to be an Olympic athlete? People think you have to choose.

[00:12:54] So what are some of the steps? It sounds like even at a young age, you were pretty clear on who you are. How did you get to know yourself even more throughout the course of your journey?

[00:13:03] Leah: I think it's important for us to know who we are. And like you just mentioned, your personality. And when I talk to teams, I'm always like, okay, who is the lighthearted one that makes jokes? Who's the one that's intense, like, let's go? Who's the one that's the quiet one but does the work? Because we all are wired differently, and I think first, Kate, it starts with being comfortable and confident in who you are.

[00:13:25] It's okay to be you. I go and I speak around to different audiences, but a lot with the high schools, I'm reminding them because everybody's trying to figure it out. And I think in high school, I was. I was trying to figure out my place, but I had softball. And I feel like I was able to thrive in that environment because I just was out and just me.

[00:13:43] And I think it helped me off the field. And so in college, I didn't compare myself to other people. If I did, I probably would've not been very good. But instead I was like, "Here's what I bring." I had a reporter my freshman year. We lost a superstar, all American. And he's like, "Oh, what are you going to do to fill her shoes?"

[00:14:00] And I was like, "I have no idea. I don't even really know what she did. I'm just here to be me." So I was like, "No disrespect to her." But it was like, I can't be her. And I'll never forget when I was training with an Olympian, a teammate, really power hitter, and I am not. And I started trying to hit like her, and then all of a sudden I was terrible.

[00:14:18] And I got back with my coach in the cage, and he knows me through and through. And this all he said to me, "What are you doing Leah?" He said, "Get back to your strength. Your strength is in your hands." Well, I started looking at my legs. I'm going to be stronger. I wasn't as strong as her. And what happened was, if you aren't yourself-- and so for me, like I feel like I still, Kate. I just turned 50 last year, and I feel like I'm still learning.

[00:14:44] And what's happened is I go through circumstances. I'm like, "Wow. Okay." I started speaking, and I started having opportunities, but then I sat back, and I was like, "You know what? I need a team around me." I'm a team person through and through. There's some people who thrive by themselves.

[00:15:00] Everybody has a team in some way, but there are a lot of people who are very good individual people, like, I don't need anybody. And I'm like, "I do." And so even though I'm up on a stage by myself, I'm like, "No. Who is my team? Because that's how I'm going to be able to keep moving forward." And so just journeys, working out, and how I like talk myself. And I'm like, "Wow, okay, that's what I did in softball."

[00:15:21] I talk myself up. We need to do that. And so really being confident and comfortable. And even as women my age, I see so many people still trying to go into environments and think they have to fit in, and they have to be what other people want them to be. And it's like, no, be free. Be yourself. It's okay. Just bring yourself. Keep learning and growing, but bring the best version of yourself.

[00:15:43] Kate: You are speaking my language and touching on something that is so important to me. What's important now? My WIN? What's important now and forever is that notion of recognizing our own special sauce and embracing that and dialing that way up, even if at first it makes us feel uncomfortable or weird, or people aren't doing that.

[00:16:03] My thing is I feel like I'm Miss feelings. I'm all about feelings all day. All I want to talk to everybody about is their feelings. And that is poo pooed upon. It's getting better, but in corporate, absolutely not. And even there's no crying in baseball. So many things that are cultural norms, 99% of them are about stuffing, suppressing not feeling-- drugs, alcohol. And it hurts my heart.

[00:16:30] And so for me, I think even with this show has been so liberating. I feel like I'm ripping off the Clark Kent suit and exposing my superhero self of feelings and talking about feelings. I'm highly trained in what I do, and you think like, I'm highly trained, so I can have this job or do this thing.

[00:16:48] And that's great, but really, what sets me apart, like your hands and hitting-- not your legs. That's not your strength necessarily, but your hands is what gets the job done. And for me, it's the feelings and talking about these topics with depth, is what gets the job done. And some people may not like it. Some people you're going to make very uncomfortable.

[00:17:07] Some people are going to even try to say it's not professional to talk about feelings in the workplace. But having, I guess, the conviction in that too, to-- regardless of what people think or say or what the cultural norm is-- maybe in softball, it is like, yeah, the legs have to be so strong to be the top hitter.

[00:17:24] It's really embracing our special sauce. And I love that you talked about that as a champion because, especially even women in sports, which is all about competition. Or for me, in the media, you think of the media titans and giants, and it's like, oh, be like them. But I'm like, "I'm not them."

[00:17:42] And that's the magic. Can you speak a little bit more about that? Because I think we pay lip service to this, but then people see who has the top podcasts, see who's telling it in sports and think, oh, I have to do or be that. And then you see them trying to emulate it and how much it does not work.

[00:18:00] Leah: No, and you lose yourself along the way. And then, like you just said, you lose your secret sauce. You talked about embracing it, and I think it's crucial. And again, the gold standard in my opinion is like, what is my best? I always say, be your best, not the best. Because sometimes it is and sometimes it's not, but be your best.

[00:18:20] Because what happens is you can keep leveling up once you get to that point. But if you're trying to be someone else's best for someone else, it just doesn't work as well. And so when you're talking, I was thinking about how on our team, again, we would do grip strength. I was the lowest. There were 15 women.

[00:18:37] I was by far the weakest. But this is how I looked at it. I was like, "I'm not going to the Olympics to compete in what's my grip strength. I'm going to be able to hit off with pitchers, and I can do that pretty well." And so it was really finding that confidence to say like, what is my strength?

[00:18:54] And what happened was I had to play different roles. And so I started out as a pitcher, got moved in college, outfield. That's how I made the Olympic team. But then in both college and on the Olympics, I went back to first base, which I also started out as. And so even just your mentality, the skill sets, the way your communication happens, it changes.

[00:19:14] And so really being able to say, "Hey, what is needed of me in this role right now? And I'm going to go all in." And I love that you talk about what you said of just like, okay, who cares? It's looked down upon, but I'm going to actually break that mold because I'm going to be authentic and go all in. And I think when you go all in, you can always shift, but you can be true to yourself.

[00:19:36] And for me, when I would listen to commentators and I started commentating, I would listen, but I took that softball lesson and was like, "Okay, take what pertains to me that I can use and what I like. The other stuff, they have their personality. Go in still with your voice." And it was so crucial because I was like, if not, I am just going to stumble.

[00:19:57] When it came to speaking, I remember like, I can't speak like these people. They're smarter. They're funnier. And I remember I literally bought a book, this is probably 20 years ago, on how to be funny. Because everyone's like, you always got to be funny when you're up on stage.

[00:20:13] And I was reading this book and I was all, "I'm not meant to speak." I'll try to say this, and it's going to be horrible. But then I heard someone speaking one time and they said-- this person, he was a pianist, and they said, when he plays, the passion. And I remember going, "That's it. Mine is passion. I'm not funny, but I'm passionate." And if I go all in with that, I'm going to be where I'm supposed to be.

[00:20:39] Kate: Thank you for saying that and sharing that. And for you, it's your energy. And I'm an energy person too where I'll even think of the best speakers I've ever heard. I remember very few words or things that they said. I might have that high level thing, but I remember how they made me feel.

[00:20:57] With you, I'm like, "I'm ready to go pack a few boxes after this." And before I connected with you, I was feeling a little nauseous. I'm like, "I'm so exhausted." But I'm ready to go now. So I'm here to hear you speak. I don't want to say I don't care about what you're saying. I certainly care about what you're saying, but I've already got the takeaway from this.

[00:21:16] It's, I'm ready to go, and I'm just going to be me. I'm a weirdo, and I might cry, but that's my special sauce. And here we go. So it is. It's like the Maya Angelou, people will forget what you said or whatever, but they will never forget how you made them feel. And I'm paraphrasing there. Sorry, Maya.

[00:21:32] I think with you it is that energy. And I can imagine how much you gave to your teammates. Even if you struck out every time up the plate though, you still gave them so much with your energy, cheering them on, being genuinely interested. That's one of my other favorite leadership characteristics too, is the people who are genuinely interested in us versus those who are trying to get us genuinely interested in them.

[00:22:00] Leah: That's a great point. And I feel like people need to be able to follow well in order to lead well. And I think too many people are just trying to lead, what do I got to do? And they won't follow, and they won't listen, and they won't learn. And I try to go into each environment and be like, okay, what does this environment need? Or what is my role and expectations?

[00:22:19] And again, using your strength and being confident in that. I notice a lot of people come into certain environments and they really do. They feel insecure. So therefore, they almost try to lead to squash others in order to lift themselves. And so I think for me, it truly comes down to, I really, really-- I love that you're saying like, let's go. Because that is me.

[00:22:41] Our coach would be yelling at us and I'm like, "Let's go win." My coach would feed off of that. But I literally want to be like, I want to link arms. Let's go. We all can keep moving forward. It does not mean for me to move forward, you have to move back. How can we all keep advancing? Because I really believe the world's big enough for that. And I think too many people think you got to step on other people in order to get up, and I think we just can rise together.

[00:23:06] Kate: Amen. What do you think it's going to take to get more women leaders and more women billionaires who can impact the world in a greater way? And almost twice we've had a female president. Didn't quite get there, but I think things have gotten better. But even just talking to you, I'm like, "Gosh, I would love for you to be president." And I'm sure you're-- someone like you with your vibe and energy. And you're like, "Girl, I'm not touching politics, or I'm not interested."

[00:23:35] But I just thought of that. I'm like, "Wow, can you imagine having some female Olympic athletes running the world?" It would be a much, much different place. So what do you think we can do better as women and men listening too who can support us to get more women in leadership positions?

[00:23:56] Leah: Yeah, I think it's just continuing to move forward into these opportunities. I recently spoke at an event, a company corporate national meeting. And there were about 400 people, employees from around the country. And one of the women who was in the executive leadership team, she pulled me aside right before I took the stage, and she said, "I am really, really excited about this."

[00:24:18] She's like, "This is a big deal." She said, "You're the first keynote speaker that's a female that we've ever had." And that was a big deal. And even her getting to her role, she was saying. I think it's happening slowly, like you said. I do believe women are stepping into these roles.

[00:24:35] I have Olympic teammates, Jennie Finch, you and I were talking about prior to this call. And her husband has a company, and she's the president of it. And just seeing people step into that role. And I really believe sports helps us, I think because we're able to go in and to compete and to say like, "It is okay."

[00:24:55] Like you were just mentioning, this whole talk we've been having is about what are my strengths? How do I work in that? And it's okay if it looks different than the world is used to seeing. It really is okay. And having the confidence because I think too many times we all think like-- and obviously we should learn, and we know settings, because we need to be wise with it. But within reason, we need to keep moving forward in our strengths.

[00:25:17] And so I don't know that I have exact answers to that question except that I do see things continuing to move forward. And I know for me, like you just mentioned, even meeting you, this is so exciting to me, and seeing what you're doing and continuing to connect with like-minded women who are changing the world and who are doing amazing things and have that same spirit in them of like, how do we keep moving forward? And so I think we're on the right path, and I think it just needs to keep moving forward.

[00:25:44] Kate: Thank you for that, and I do feel like we can change the world by having conversations like this and meeting people like you. And I'm so grateful to our colleague, Mark Moyer, a dear friend who is-- I'm Miss Feelings. He's Mr. Connector. And what a gift and a skill that is for all of us, that he connects powerhouse people right and left.

[00:26:07] And a lot of us have a sports background. And I'm going to just call and thank him again after this because I think too sometimes you think you're successful if you're making a certain amount of money. You're changing the world in that way. And Mark is so impactful, not for money he's making, but for connections that he's making. And he's making fine money, but the connections and how important that is.

[00:26:26] Something I saw on social media this morning-- I'm so curious to get your take on. It was something to the effect-- and I've been seeing a lot of people talking about it. I've certainly been feeling it lately myself, is the reason why some people who you consider friends or people who know you won't or don't support you is because they see you as silent competition and they have declared you the winner.

[00:26:51] And that almost knocked me off the couch this morning. I saw not one but two posts about it-- one last night before bed, one this morning when I woke up. So I'm like, "Okay, universe, I see you." What is that, where-- and again, you're on a team of women, and you're competing against other women and teams, but then there's also the game of life.

[00:27:09] I don't know what this thing is where people think there's not enough pie for everybody, or-- you are not my competition. Even if we're both up for the same speaking opportunity or book deal or whatever, we are collaborators in community, and we'll make each other better.

[00:27:24] I can't wait to be on a greater platform so I can promote more women like yourself and be like, "Hey, let me connect you with my agent to get this deal or whatever." What do you think is happening here? This whole people putting us in a competition we didn't agree to and then declaring us the winner, and so therefore not supporting our work.

[00:27:43] Leah: That is so interesting. I hadn't heard it that way, although like the first part I was like, "Oh yeah, I can see that that feeling comes at times." I saw it when I was a young athlete in high school. I know Jennie Finch, her entire book was even at that elite level with top players around her in college.

[00:27:59] She had that feeling, and I think it's jealousy and insecurity. And it shouldn't be. I think it's, again, that thought that creeps in. Like, if they're getting ahead, that means I am not. And it cannot be like that. I think when we can truly learn-- and so that's why for me, with social media, I know some people have a hard time with it, because like you said, we're seeing everyone's highlight reels.

[00:28:22] And I know other people, that it literally makes them feel lesser. And I'm going, "Oh my gosh, I love when you guys share that because then I could see how cool that is, and I'm cheering you on." And then I just know, if I'm going through a rough time and that mindset shifts and it's hard for me to see like, oh, everybody else has this perfect life and I don't, that almost is this awareness to me of like, okay, what's going on with your mindset? Your circumstances do not dictate everything.

[00:28:50] You've really got to change your perspective again. Because when I'm healthy and we're doing it, it allows us to be that win-win. So that's very interesting. I know we need to be the example first. I think with you and what you're doing, and you bring voice to it, and we say, "Hey, guys." No, that's not where we should be.

[00:29:08] And you bring voice to it. I think it could be that aha moment for other people of like, silently, I would never tell anyone that's what I was thinking. But that was what was happening inside. Okay, I want to start cheering so that I also can get the cheers back when I'm doing it. And that was what team was all about. So I feel like it's easier for me in the life situation to do that.

[00:29:27] Kate: Yeah, and that almost answers the question I answered you prior. I think we have more women in leadership positions, more female billionaires when we're able to have what you and I are having right now and genuinely connect and cheer each other on and collaborate as opposed to the latter. And maybe that's all part of it.

[00:29:47] And then exactly what you just said, leading by example and checking yourself if that comes up. Or asking yourself, okay, why am I not wanting to support this person? Or, ooh, I'm feeling a little jealousy or envy here. What's this really about? Because it's not about Sally winning the gold medal. It's not about Jenny looking hot on the cover of Sports Illustrated.

[00:30:08] It's not about Leah making millions of dollars on her book. It's there's something else going on. And so really taking that time. Again, it goes back to our other points, to really know who you are and that nobody is your competition. And it can feel icky when people have just-- or I've had some copycats recently, and it's just such a bummer.

[00:30:30] It's icky for me. But then I think, you are so capable of coming up with your own concept. Or maybe take a class, or maybe spend some time in your creativity to come up with your version of it. And so it is more of a invitation because I don't want to dwell in the like, ooh, that's really icky.

[00:30:48] But it is leading by example, but first we have to know who we are. Tap into that. And then I think also be okay with blocking out that noise. I'd love for you to talk about that because especially in your sport, it is so noisy. And especially if you're playing at the opponent's home field, there's that noise and the chaos.

[00:31:09] How do you stay focused? And there in sport you're blocking out the fan noise, but really blocking out the noise of, wow, that friend isn't supporting me, and that's hurtful. Or I really thought this sponsor would step up as we share values, and now they're not interested in collaborating. How do you stay focused when there's so much to navigate?

[00:31:29] Leah: Yeah. And I think with social media it does get harder and harder because you can get so distracted and pulled and listening to so many different voices. And I feel like even for me, as I was moving towards-- I actually homeschooled for 13 years, my boys. So it was a lot, and I would just do these little things on the weekends. But I was mostly home and really committed and sacrificed some other things, but it was so worth it.

[00:31:52] I knew that was the priority at that point in time. The last few years, as my youngest went to high school, I was like, "Okay, what do I want this next season to look like?" And so I did. I started talking to a bunch of different people, and I was like, "Okay, but what do I want to do?"

[00:32:09] I can do multiple different things, but what am I passionate about? What do I really am driven by? Because I'm the personality, like you, I'm sure. You're going to go all in. We know as athletes what that means. But I think with that, I was hearing a lot of advice, a lot of voices, and I had to-- I started following a little bit, and then I had to keep going back to that situation, my coach.

[00:32:33] Leah, this is how maybe 90% of people do it as speaking. But this is how you do it. And how have you spoken for 20-plus years with no marketing, no videos really out there, and it's literally from one thing to another thing to another thing?

[00:32:48] And it's just continued to grow. And now I'm trying to put some of these things in place. I think it can happen to all of us. I think we have to always be guarded to make sure it doesn't. And so I did learn that as an athlete. I was able to zone in. I was able to stay focused.

[00:33:03] And one of the things my coach would always say to us was, as Olympians, you guys-- because he was with all American national championship teams and then the Olympics. There's a higher level. And he just said, "Everything was solution oriented. You guys just never dwelt on the problem. While so many people are talking about the problem, thinking about the problem, looking at the problem, you guys are getting into work finding the solution."

[00:33:27] And I noticed in my marriage I do that. I noticed with my kids. I'm constantly like, "Okay, here's what happened. What's a solution? Let's get moving towards it." And so I think that helps a little bit to stay away from the noise because the noise creeps in and you're like, "No, I'm not listening to that because I'm working on the solution."

[00:33:44] Kate: Oh, I love that. That just speaks to something that's helped me so much recently because we're bombarded with messaging about all the problems. And even I love to get on TikTok and see my favorite creators. That's my medicine. I don't want drugs or alcohol. I'm like, "I need some TikTok, and I'll decompress."

[00:34:02] And so you will. There's this independent journalist. He gives me my little updates, and he's reporting on the "problems," if you will. So I want to be informed, and this show is one of my solutions. It's helping humanity heal and evolve. And so I spend 99.9% of my energy doing this work and speaking and writing as well, and coaching.

[00:34:24] I want to be aware of the problems, but immediately get into the solution. And knowing what our solution is and isn't. For instance, I'm not someone who's called to protest something that I don't like out on the streets. I am called to speak about it, to write about it, to call someone like you and say, "Hey, I've got this charity and organization. Would you be willing to donate or come to the event? We're helping raise money for underprivileged kids, or whatever our thing is." And so I love that, just reminding ourselves of the solutions.

[00:34:55] A question I've been wanting to ask you for a while now, we've done so much. Thank you. I think especially people who have kids who are growing up in sports-- and again, everyone wants to win. Everyone wants to make the Olympics. Everyone wants the college scholarship and things like that.

[00:35:09] But to back up and go back a little before all of your Olympic gold medals and before all of your success on and off the field, you were a little kid, and you were probably just doing it for the love of it.

[00:35:20] So for parents listening, probably their kids aren't listening, but for parents listening, what was really helpful to you as a child in terms of having more of a winning for fun or doing my best as opposed to win at all costs? I remember as a swimmer, some parents hitting their kids or screaming at their kids if they didn't win, which that's a whole other conversation about abuse that's very tragic.

[00:35:45] But it can get toxic in sports at time, and you just are so grounded and have remained so lovely for 50 years. What was that experience like as a child? Or what advice could you offer to parents?

[00:35:57] Leah: I'm so thankful that I had parents that supported me, got me involved in sports. My dad loved baseball. So when I was six, they signed me up for softball. And then soccer was the other sport. And I really excelled at both. Loved them, loved the team environment, and just loved the competitiveness and the aggressiveness of soccer.

[00:36:15] But then just the challenge of pitching in softball. And I think it was important to have my dad that pushed me and had that high standard. And then my mom was my safe place to land. And I knew I could always go there and was always going to be supportive. For her, it never had to be this in order to be great.

[00:36:36] And I think that really kept me balanced. She did say that having soccer and softball was good because like I would go to soccer and I would lead in a different way there and have success differently, and it's cross training as well. And so was able to keep it fun.

[00:36:52] And I think that is so crucial. And I know a lot of coaches, even at the collegiate level, the top teams, it's intense. It's serious. There's a lot of pressure, but they're trying to keep it fun. And same thing when I was on the Olympic team. I think of the high stakes and you're around superstars.

[00:37:09] At least in school I was like-- when I'm doing bad at softball-- "I'm a great student at least." But now on the Olympic team, you're like, "Oh, I'm here to play. I'm a pro. And if I'm not good, it's really bad." But I say that to say, when I was young, I truly enjoyed it. I had teammates that I had fun with off the field.

[00:37:24] I think that's super important, so that the whole experience doesn't just become when you get the ball in your hand or you're at the plate with the bat in your hand. But instead, it's like this whole environment. And what I find is that when kids do not like it, like you said, it starts at home. So even when you have very supportive families at home, sometimes the team atmosphere, the coach, it's toxic.

[00:37:46] And I think teaching our kids like, what is toxic? What's not? Why we play. Reminding yourself that your identity is not tied to that. I was recently talking to a college player that I worked with because I actually worked with Team Israel Softball, the junior national team in the summers.

[00:38:00] And so she's been a former player. She's at a college. She's been struggling a little bit, and she was like, "Hey, just need some advice. Mental health. I'm struggling." And I just really went to the core of like, what you do is not who you are. You've got to separate that first and foremost. Because the second that is who you are, then in the struggle, now you're not worth it.

[00:38:19] And it's okay to keep wanting to win. But I just really was encouraging her and trying to build her up in who she is so that therefore now I can see with clearer eyes what's happening. And so for me, I did have a healthier environment. My parents really stood back. They were not in anybody's faces.

[00:38:35] And I look now, and I've tried to do the same for my three sons. My oldest competed a [Inaudible] when he was little. Then my next one was a football player. Did really well in high school. And then my youngest is a senior hurdler, and he has colleges looking at him. But I have tried to just be like, see what they need and see how they're reacting.

[00:38:53] And then I try to go in and meet that need because sometimes when they're super high-- our coach always kept us in the middle. He didn't let us get too high or too low. Sometimes he's like, "You need to come down a little bit." And other times he is like, "I'm going to be the one to lift you up." So I had that and now I try to be that for my sons as well.

[00:39:09] Kate: I love that. And it really is more than just how many hits we're getting or how many touchdowns we're throwing, how many goals we're scoring, things like that. But what kind of a teammate are you? And that's something that goes your whole life, whether you're in sports, you're in a marriage, a friendship, a business partnership, relationship with your kids or with your parents.

[00:39:27] And so I think what you can offer besides just the-- it's like instead of being an investor, I can offer you money. It's like, well, how are you going to treat me as a partner? And same with this, going in and talking to your coach. And this applies to job too, but really dialing up your values and how those play into the culture. Dialing up your strengths.

[00:39:47] My swim coach at Penn State in the directory, he talked about my infectious enthusiasm. It wasn't my underwater pull out. It wasn't, she's really fast off the blocks because I was just okay at that. But it was, nobody is better at me with the infectious enthusiasm.

[00:40:03] So again, it's knowing what we bring to the table that's going to help me swim faster. It's going to help my teammates swim faster. If people are down in practice or at a meet, they can look to me, and I will own that role. So I think that's important that we do that with our kids, whether they're in sports or not. So instead of the whole, what do you want to be when you grow up or all of that, it's who do you want to be when you grow up?

[00:40:28] Leah: I think that is crucial. And even with my sons, I have just instilled that. I absolutely agree with you. That identity piece for me, learning that in college really changed my outlook, and it helped me be so much more mentally healthy in the hard times, for sure. And we talk about that, like you're a leader on the field. You're a leader on the track.

[00:40:50] How are you treating your teammates? You're a senior, and you're one of the top runners on the team. Are you embracing all the younger athletes? So when a coach came up to me for my middle son and said, he's my leader on defense, and defense was not even his strength.

[00:41:04] He was better receiver. But his personality took charge and led, and he said, "I just want my son to be like him." And I couldn't get a better compliment as a mom. Again, like you said, it wasn't like, oh, his hands were pretty good, or his foot speed needs to be a little better.

[00:41:19] It was that I want that. And what you had just said, I think we're all dying to be seen, to be loved, to be accepted, to be encouraged. And when we are the ones that bring that, an environment is going to be better because we were there. And I think so many people are so worried about what's going on. Again, the natural tendency is to go inward because of that. But when we can start being outward for others, it actually will lift ourselves.

[00:41:45] Kate: It's so true. It's something that we can all cultivate and develop independent of our God-given talent and strengths. And oftentimes you see maybe the athlete or student who isn't as talented necessarily, who beats the super talented, God-gifted child because they're putting in the work. They care about it. They're being a great teammate.

[00:42:06] I have so many examples coming to mind, and I've been both. I've had my time where I was screwing off in the summer. That was just the one summer, and I got kicked off national team. And then I got demoted to the silver group, but it was a lesson for me.

[00:42:23] I busted my butt in that group and the coach at the end of the summer said, "I wasn't expecting leadership from you." And he's like, "You just showed up every day and encouraged everybody else. You led the lane. You showed up early. You stayed late. And that was a really transformational summer for me.

[00:42:38] And sometimes that's what it takes too. And again, I keep going back to that notion of who we are being more important than what we do. And again, it's something we hear all the time, but giving people ways to really sit with that and work through it.

[00:42:52] I'm just curious too, because you said you just turned 50. You look 30. And what that experience has been like, especially someone who's so athletic. I don't even swim anymore sadly, but definitely couldn't do what I could do when I was younger, athletically. How has that journey been for you of embracing getting older, especially as a woman, and getting older as a Olympic athlete?

[00:43:18] And you're obviously doing something right because you look incredible and feel incredible, but I'd love some insight there because I feel like I look and feel the best I have since a teenager, and it's been a lot of discipline and work, but also, again, our culture says all sorts of things to us about how we should be feeling about ourselves as women of this older age.

[00:43:38] Leah: Yes. So I recently have gotten back in the gym continuously because I think my scheduling, I was figuring out. Once my son went to school, I was like, "Oh, I'm going to have more time." And actually I did worse because I started having so many different calls and podcasts and different things. And I was having them in all the mornings, which generally would be easier for me to get up, go early, whatever.

[00:43:57] And I just pushed it off like, no, I'm busy. I'm busy. I'm busy. And I realized, man, that is not the priority. I need to get back to-- I know I feel better. So I get back to the gym, and on the first weekend, I'm like, "I am so out of shape." But then I'm like, "My body loves being there, even though it's been--" Because up until then, I was pretty consistent all through the years.

[00:44:17] I'd have a friend that really loved the CrossFit. I don't know, I'm a softball player. I do sprints. I have my friends that were these long-distance runner. We're jogging together, and they're just talking the whole way, and I can't even breathe.

[00:44:29] But finding those people that balance you out. But we were very consistent together, and that friend moved out of town, and then I slowed down with that. So I'm back now of like, okay, no more excuses. This is a priority. I want it to be-- I feel so much better when I'm working out.

[00:44:45] I just have more energy. So maybe if you see me in three months, I'm going to be way better. But I feel like I just want to age gracefully. Like you said, I just see around me so many people that are just trying to stay 20, and I'm like, "I'm not 20 anymore." I wish I was, but I'm not.

[00:45:05] And so what in this season of life? And probably when I was 30, right after having my kids, I was like, "Oh my gosh, I got to get to this weight, blah, blah, blah." And now I was laughing because I know myself mentally. I'll get discouraged if I don't get that type of a goal quickly.

[00:45:20] So I've been like, no. Number one is going to be endurance, movement, flexibility. Then number two is just getting stronger. And then I'm like, "Then I'll worry about the weight part." But I laugh because you figure out what is it for you? And then my friends are like, "You're crazy. You're fine."

[00:45:36] And I'm like, "We all have our thing. We all know ourselves." And I was an Olympic athlete, so you got to understand, I do have that type of mindset. So I think movement is huge because at the end of the day, I want to keep staying active, like you talked about. I travel a lot. I am on the go. I want to have the energy that it takes to be able to keep doing these things.

[00:45:57] Kate: Exactly. For me, it's maintaining the vessel that speaks and writes and hosts and challenges and helps to change consciousness as opposed to, I want a look hot in a bikini. If it's about looking hot in a bikini, not working out ever, because that's a misogynistic way to control women and blah, being skinny, and all of that.

[00:46:16] So I'm like, "If that's the goal, I'm eating more pizza." So it really is, I think, finding what genuinely motivates you and sticking with that. Or I see relatives or some people-- my parents are both very fit and strong and healthy, but there's some other relatives that I know did not take care of themselves, and I don't want to be in that condition when I am 70 or 80 or something like that.

[00:46:38] So the Pilates, the stretching, the walking. And for me, it really grounds in all of these mental and emotional practices that I do when you can just go walk and ground it in, listen to a podcast, listen to some music. I record conversations I have with my coach so I can listen to that back and get a new insight.

[00:46:56] But I think doing it even with a friend or doing something where you have more fun with it as opposed to, I have to be so fit. And again, letting go of the competition and giving ourselves more grace.

[00:47:08] Leah: Yeah. I know myself, so again, I see friends doing CrossFit, but I was like, "It's amazing. I'm so proud of you guys. But I know myself and I'm like, "I competed for so long. That is not this season." I'm like, "I want to enjoy it." Like you said, I want to-- even I was pushing myself a little bit and I was like, "Ah."

[00:47:28] And then the next day I was so tight. And I'm like, "Oh my gosh." But I'm like, "I'm going to keep listening to my body right now because I know my mind is like, go, go, go." But then my body's like, "Listen, we're a little older now. We're going to take a little longer. Keep stretching, do these different things."

[00:47:42] And so that part has changed as well. I think in the past I might've been like, "No, I'm going to push through it." But I think now I'm more like, "No, what's my body telling me today?" Okay, I'm going to react. And so for me, I'm with you. I'm on the same page.

[00:47:54] And I think people need to have the grace, because I think what happens is, when it is this burden, this chore, this only for losing weight, then you don't even want to do it. But when it's like, oh my gosh, go take a walk, go enjoy nature outside, go be with friends, it's like, okay. And that's a totally different mindset, and it would pull you more toward it.

[00:48:14] Kate: Yeah. And I think that's the beauty and wisdom of getting older that I'm embracing, is that desire to push through at all costs, even when it does literally cost us our health and wellbeing, is doing less and doing it with more intention. And it's today, I am up for two meetings and one podcast and a walk and not just packing my schedule.

[00:48:38] And that's where I really see my growth, because that also requires trust and faith and God's spirit, universe, whatever you believe in, that faith in yourself that it's all going to get done. Releasing some of the New York City urgency of having a do it all. And like you said, we've done that our whole lives as athletes, teens, 20s, 30s. And at this point, it's a little bit more of just taking the foot off the accelerator and coasting a little bit more and letting all of this experience work for us.

[00:49:08] And asking, what are we doing all of this for? What is the goal here? And for me, I've just seen the huge shift in prioritizing my wellbeing for the first time in my life. And when you do that, a lot of things may fall away-- people, situations, jobs. And letting that be okay. What has that evolution been like for you in terms of maybe outgrowing people or places, and has that been challenging for you?

[00:49:36] Leah: Listening to you say that, I do. I think about these seasons. I looked at my travel and my softball, and I was so on the go. And then I was raising my family, and so I realized early on, like, I need a group of people here. Who are going to be my people? And so eventually, through our church community, we found just so many families, even homeschool groups. We raised our kids together.

[00:49:56] And so we've now seen all of these kiddos growing up. A lot of us, our values align. It's been really healthy, great friendships, a lot of traveling. Just a really good environment. And for me, I found that as a younger person on the softball field with those families. But with my boys, it's been more local community.

[00:50:14] And then now I'm like, "Okay." I'm finding myself pulled. I'm not going to necessarily just leave all those people, but I can tell like, okay. I can tell I'm drawn to people that are entrepreneurs and creative thinkers. And so even some friends who are now making a transition and their kids have gotten older and they're that personality, I find like, oh, I really feel filled up when I'm talking with them.

[00:50:37] And I think it's okay to be drawn toward that a little bit more and say like, in this new season. But with you saying that, I did a year ago when I was finishing my book and I was just feeling so stressed. I'm like, "What am I doing?" I spent all the time homeschooling my kids. It was chaos and crazy.

[00:50:57] Now all of a sudden I feel like I'm in this whole striving stage again. Do I want to feel like this at this age in this season? But I like the idea of thinking, can I, will I, and why should I? And can I do this? What's my goal? Can I do it? Okay, yeah, I can do it.

[00:51:14] I'm usually going to say yes to that most of the time. And then, will I? Am I willing? Am I willing to do what it takes? As Olympian, can I, will I? But the why. And I think that is the most important of like, why am I doing this? And I think, and that goes back to this entire thing we've been talking about, is truly getting real and looking inside and saying, "What is the purpose behind this?"

[00:51:39] Because when the purpose is strong enough and the why is strong enough, even the hard times will be worth it. And so I will take a step back. I'll call my mentor. I'll have my little like freak out moment. I'll be in tears. And I laugh because I'm like, "I'm not quitting on anyone but myself. Nobody else will even know or care."

[00:51:57] But then I get refreshed of like, okay, that was a rough week. I'm on track again. And people are like, "You're always doing all these things." And I'm like, I don't even feel like it is half the time because the why is strong enough." And I recently got my certification as a life coach, and it just went along side with things that I was already doing.

[00:52:18] I just feel like it's just continual growth. And I love that and I thrive in that, but again, like you mentioned, I'm looking for that community. And I think the freedom to say, you don't have to cut people off, like you said, but maybe the time you're spending in certain circles is not going to be as much maybe moving forward.

[00:52:36] Kate: Yeah. And the importance of taking a pause, whether it's on as relationship or a job, or just knowing when to take that time out. I just was watching a basketball game last night and sometimes taking that time out at a critical moment is the difference between winning and losing the game.

[00:52:52] And to have that faith in the process that if we don't work today or work out today, it's still not only going to be okay, but probably be better because we need that time to recalibrate and de-stress and heal. So I love that notion. What did you learn most about yourself writing your book, The Gold Standard?

[00:53:11] Leah: Okay. I learned a couple of things. I had someone originally helping me. I was like, "Okay, here's all these ideas." And bring it to life. And I learned through that process that I really did need to trust my own voice. Because when I was getting it back, I was just like, "Ah, no."

[00:53:29] So then I would redo it all and then my show friends are like, "Yes, this is you." And so number one, again, your strength. Trust your voice. Trust your own voice. And also originally, I set out thinking it's like a leadership idea of just really taking advantage of every opportunity. And it is some of that.

[00:53:47] But what I realized more, and I look back through my entire journey and story, was that it was like nobody else has to see you as a leader in order for you to make an impact right now. And ultimately, we choose how we show up, and every single person can have influence. So we have got to stop looking at everybody else being the star, all the people in positions of authority.

[00:54:11] Not look at them, but you know what I'm saying. To where if I don't have that title, I can still show up and impact and bring influence and bring my full self and make a difference. And so I feel like it shifted. It surprised me a little bit, thinking like, oh, leadership. And I was like, "Oh, no." And then with it, everything is choice based, I realized.

[00:54:33] I'm like, "That makes sense for my story too because eventually, at the higher levels, I was overmatched-- speed, power, all the things." But not with heart and passion, not with work ethic and what I'd put in, not with sacrifice. I was willing to do all of that, and those are all choices. And so what I realized was like, wow, so much, I think why I can go all in and keep moving forward was because if I just keep making choices, then it's within my power.

[00:55:02] If I don't compare and don't look around and don't think about what someone else is doing, it means I can't, instead of just what do I want to do. So I feel like that's what it showed me, is like keep that at the heart of everything that I do. Because I might walk into new settings, and like you mentioned, I don't have the name or the notoriety, but I still have what I can bring.

[00:55:23] Kate: Hmm, bringing your full self, and as I like to say, your full spirit to everyone you meet and everything that you do. And that's something that all of us can do regardless of race, religion, gender, money, anything. Bringing our full self and our full spirit to everything and to everyone. That's so beautiful.

[00:55:43] Last question here. We're all in the huddle of life right now, and the game's on the line, and we're tired. Leah, what are you saying to us in the huddle to not only keep going, but to win this game because we deserve it?

[00:56:00] Leah: I'm just going to say that we're stronger together. Let's keep bringing our best, and with each other, someone else is going to have a strength where I'm weak. But I'm going to be strong where you're weak, and we're going to keep moving forward so we're stronger together. So find the team of people.

[00:56:15] Sometimes it's someone that just gives you those words that you needed to hear. Sometimes it's someone to sit beside you. Sometimes it's someone to go adventure with. Whatever that is, to keep filling your cup. Because when all of us are being filled, then we can keep overflowing.

[00:56:29] Kate: Mm. That was so beautiful. I'm just going to take that to heart. I feel so motivated to go do so much right now, both rest and also really create and get stuff done.

[00:56:39] So thank you so much. This has been such a delight to talk to you today. I just feel so lit up. I'm sure my audience does too. Thank you so much for being here.

[00:56:47] Leah: It's been so wonderful, and I just appreciate all you're doing. Again, another strong woman, female athlete, but just making a difference. And really, again, as you walk in that, you're allowing others to see that they can have the confidence to do the same thing. So thank you for having me.

[00:57:03] Kate: Oh, thank you so much. Let's do it. Stronger together. I love that. Leah Amico, everybody check out the show notes and go pick up her book, The Gold Standard. Also book her to speak. I'm going to hire you at my event when I have one. So I'm like, "Woo. Let's go. I'm feeling so good." Thank you so much, and thanks to all of you for being here. We'll see you next week right back here. Bye, everybody.