I Reset My Life In Portugal - Here’s How

[00:00:14] Kate: This is my voice text. This is my attempt to connect with you. And I think before we can connect with anyone, we first have to connect with ourselves. A lot of people benefit from us not caring for ourselves, not having grace or compassion for ourselves.

[00:00:30] I wrote down, "I don't even care if anyone is listening. I'm doing this for me." And of course I do care. We grew up in a generation where a lot of us were expected to be perfect in order to receive love.

[00:00:44] I've always been held to such high standards, and even in terms of my on-camera career and what was expected of us, and just the obsession over your hair and makeup being perfect on camera. This is how I would show up if you were a very close friend or family member.

[00:01:00] Hey, it's Kate. And this is Rawish. And it's just you and me today, so welcome. I'm happy you're here. I am at this beautiful resort in Algarve, Portugal, Vila Vita Parc. I highly recommend it if you need a reset, a getaway. If you want to do what I've been doing, which is just sit and stare all day. I sit and stare here on my balcony, from my bed.

[00:01:22] I sit and stare at the cafe, but Jose and John. I sit and stare at the beach chairs at the beach. I sit and stare at the lawn, at the ocean. I sit and stare at the bar, at the restaurant. Everywhere I go, I just sit and stare, and I reflect, and I ponder. And there's moments from all of my programming that say, "You need to be doing more."

[00:01:44] And I have work obligations while I'm here, and health and nutrition and rest obligations that I want to do. But I am just really trying to reset and get out of the hustle. And if you've watched previous episodes, you know that I have moved out of my home and out of Los Angeles and out of the United States for now.

[00:02:05] It's temporary, but I'm following my instincts, and I'm really leaning into trusting. And I hope that it's something that you can incorporate into your life or not. It's just an invitation. But I had a two-hour session with my intuitive coach today, and she showed up how I show up with my clients.

[00:02:27] She was really pushing me and challenging me in a reverent way, not in a critical way. She really challenged me to show up, not as the polished presenter Kate, but just as I would for a FaceTime with a friend or family member. I love to leave voice notes for my friends all the time, and I don't think about them.

[00:02:49] There's no script. There's no pre-production. There's no planning. It really is just an in the moment love notes, a check-in, an update, a download, a wish you well type of vibe. So this is my love note. This is my voice text. This is my attempt to connect with you. And I think before we can connect with anyone, we first have to connect with ourselves.

[00:03:14] And that's what this time in my life is and has been. It feels so transformational. And I'm just getting so many intuitive downloads, and a big one is really following and trusting that inner knowing. And I am trusting more than anyone that I know in the midst of so much uncertainty.

[00:03:34] But my coach today challenged me to trust even more, or fears or doubts come up about whatever that can slow the process or block the process of our desires manifesting and unfolding. So I just wanted to really have a open discussion today and really record as if no one's ever going to listen or watch, but I know that you're here, so thank you. I appreciate you.

[00:03:59] But I really want this to be an invitation for you and also for me to just let our hair down. If you're watching on YouTube, I don't have Robert, Robert Ramos, here to style my hair like I have in LA or Angie in New York. And my hair is a lot to deal with, and I'm just letting it go wild and do its thing here too.

[00:04:23] And I'm really overcoming my own, I guess, fears, which sounds silly of not being so polished. And it comes from an honest place really since birth. But just in my life and in my generation, I'm the end of Gen X, and we work our butts off. And we grew up in a generation where a lot of us were expected to be perfect in order to receive love.

[00:04:47] We needed to perform to receive love. We needed to achieve and accomplish something and be the best, and get the best grades and be the star athletes. And if we're women, we need to look beautiful while doing it and always be polished and put together. I went to grad school at Northwestern, and a B minus average, they would flunk you out.

[00:05:06] And I watched some people get thrown out because of their grades and how embarrassing that was. And so it just instilled a lot of fear to always be performing at a high level. I think of all my years as a competitive swimmer and them locking the doors if you were five minutes late. You were just out. And you miss a few practices, you don't show up, you were kicked off national team.

[00:05:26] And so I've always been held to such high standards. And even in terms of my on-camera career and what was expected of us, and just the obsession over your hair and makeup being perfect on camera, even in a hurricane, even if it's 110 degrees and you're sweating at QVC. It was just so much emphasis on what we looked like and having to look perfect. And that was seemingly more important than what we were even saying or how we were connecting.

[00:05:54] And so it comes from an honest place, and I was really confronted with some of these truths today and even got a little emotional. When my coach was giving me pushback, be like, "Listen, I needed to be perfect." Or, "I didn't feel safe or loved." And I think a lot of us, especially in my generation and especially women, we struggle with that.

[00:06:14] And so this is just my attempt to show up and connect with you here today. And the show is Rawish. And really, what did I write down that just really impacted me today? I wrote down, "I don't even care if anyone is listening. I'm doing this for me." And of course I do care. And of course in any venture you have to have customers or viewers or people to make money or to have a thing.

[00:06:39] But I think when we come from a place of, I love this product or service or show or program so much that I'm going to do it even if no one buys it, or even if no one watches because I am getting something from it. If you're creating the hair care product, it's like my hair is benefiting from my great product. Or this show has transformed me, whether anyone is watching or not.

[00:07:04] So there is the proof in the pudding. And I think it's just such a testament to all of us to really not just do what we love, but to do more things for us. And we do live in a very narcissistic culture nowadays. But I'm noticing for myself that my whole life has been very others focused.

[00:07:24] And even I'm noticing in how I'm texting people back right now. Instead of just caring for their needs or texting in a way that puts how they might think of me or perceive me ahead of my own needs, it's more of just like, "Hey, I'm out of the country, and I'm not taking any calls while I'm in Europe, but I look forward to connecting when we get back." And being okay disappointing people or people not liking me or people thinking it's whatever.

[00:07:53] And I think that's what so much of this episode is about today, is really releasing how we are perceived by others, releasing our fear of being seen. Not just seen as the polished show pony. I'm pretty cool with people seeing me like that. But being seen with unkempt hair, being seen not looking or feeling our best, being seen while we're tired, being seen while we're saying something that people may not agree with or like.

[00:08:19] And I think another big thing I'm noticing when I'm recording these solo episodes is they're wildly confronting for me. And I'm one of those people who, when I'm wildly confronted, especially, I like to sit and reflect on why that is the case. Why am I someone who's been on camera for decades, why these are so confronting for me? It's certainly not that skillset of showing up and speaking on camera or even the raw emotion, which I'm quite comfortable with raw emotion.

[00:08:51] But I think that my episodes are so much about creating the space for my guests to shine and show off their expertise and their story and just be the expert coach and journalist and host and presenter and human who can let them shine. And I'm way more comfortable helping others shine rather than allowing myself to shine and having it be about me.

[00:09:19] Because then it's like, well, what if they don't like me? Or what if it's not good enough? And for me, I care so much about you, as in others, but I care so much about you that I sweat and stress over, was that episode good enough in terms of did they get enough value? Was it worth their time? Did it wow them? Did they have aha moments? Did it change their life?

[00:09:43] And I put all that pressure on myself because of you, not because of me. I'm good. I do the work. I hire the professionals. I'm doing my thing. I'm good, really. I'm worried about you, and I think I'm worried about you because I know how much you are juggling. I know how many responsibilities you have, and I know that like me, you have some programming to overcome.

[00:10:11] You have not felt good enough at times. You are struggling with the state of the world at times. You are overwhelmed, exhausted, and all the things. And I'm so deeply empathetic, which is a gift, but it often feels like a curse because I not only care about you and your feelings and what's going on with you, but I feel your feelings.

[00:10:35] I literally can feel your pain. I can feel your stress. I can feel if you don't like me. I can feel if you're judging me. So you can see how that gets very daunting and exhausting, and it's a lot to work through. So whatever your thing is, your product, your service-- maybe it's carpool with the kids.

[00:10:55] Maybe you don't have a physical product or service, but you're serving your family or you're serving the company you work for. Whatever your thing is, I invite you to, I got to say it again-- I wrote it down-- I don't even care if anyone is listening, however that relates to your situation. And whether that's maybe you aren't showing up cute to pick up your kids.

[00:11:18] Maybe you're like, "Girl, I'm already doing that." But whatever the thing is, I think that we are a bit harsh on ourselves, and I think that a lot of us, whether we care to admit it or not, are really concerned with how others perceive us. And there's cancel culture and all sorts of other things, whether you're a public figure or not, that I think we're aware of. So I get it, and I welcome you to this new experience.

[00:11:55] I am in a whole new chapter of my life. I feel like I have died and have been reborn. And this really is a rebirth. I feel like I'm in my own little world at the moment, which I like. I've created that here, at this resort in Portugal. I am so grateful to myself from two months ago, who, of all the places in the world that I could have chosen to be, not just the city or the country, but this resort even.

[00:12:26] It is such a perfect match. I see myself coming here again. I can see myself coming here with my future husband. There's actually a wedding here this evening, and that was a sign. But it is just the perfect place for me to be right now.

[00:12:39] And so when we get that nudge to pack up and move, whether it's next door, out of the country, wherever, to start to really follow these nudges and these inner knowings that can be whispers or loud screams and really trust where you're being taken.

[00:12:59] And more and most importantly, really trust yourself that you know what you're doing and you've got this. At this point, we're not five years old. We've been through some stuff, and we can handle it. So for me, I'm just so grateful that I followed the calling because it's just so good to finally sleep and not be disrupted by LA traffic all the time, and to be out of that house. It was just sucking the life out of me.

[00:13:25] And to be in a place that is giving me so much, that's part of this new identity too, where I'm giving to myself and not just everybody else, but letting my environment nurture me, letting the people at the restaurant really nurture me, letting friends show up for me. And I think that's so important because I think, again, especially as women or especially this generation, we're just taught to make it all about others. And that if we really do prioritize ourselves, that's frowned upon.

[00:13:57] So anyway, what else did I write down? I took some notes from this session. I wrote down, "No more energetic shields." For me an energetic shield is the perfectly coiffed hair, the makeup, the polished, silk shirt, gorgeous outfit, and some beautiful jewelry.

[00:14:19] It's, again, focusing on my guests and their story and holding the space. It's maybe not saying all the things that I would say in a private phone call with a friend for fear of persecution or something like that. There's always that.

[00:14:38] So no more energetic shields. And why we have these shields. Again, we want to feel safe and protected, but then when we keep all of that out, we don't get to be who we really are or even know who that person is. And I think so many people, grown adults have no idea who they are beneath who they're presenting to the world.

[00:15:01] So that's an invitation for us to get really clear on that. And I think we get really clear when we do what I've been doing for days now, which is the sit and stare, and really have the courage and confidence and willingness to sit with ourselves, to truly see ourselves. The light, the shadow, all of it, and just sit with it.

[00:15:28] And have compassion and be gentle and ask some of the questions about what we need and what's working and what isn't. But to really sit and honor the silence of seeing ourselves. And maybe that's why it's so scary to be seen by others, because it's scary to see ourselves and perhaps have to make changes or have to walk away from people and to have to walk away from comfort and security and familiarity and homes and maybe your state, your city, your country.

[00:16:04] Take a bold leap of faith and shake things up to really show the universe regardless of your religious or spiritual beliefs, but to show the universe-- and you are part of the universe-- to show yourself how much you trust. Show yourself how much you trust.

[00:16:22] I also wrote down, "If people see who I truly am, I won't be loved or accepted." I think that's a big one. That's a big one. But then people may like us, but they don't even really like us. They like who we are to them.

[00:16:39] They like how they feel in our presence. They like that we're good listeners, that we give good advice. They like that we buy them dinner. They like that we hook them up with our agent. They like that they are seen and perceived in a certain way when they're standing next to us or when they can say that we're friends with them.

[00:16:55] Or they like that we add excitement and energy into their life. And I'm noticing that too. Even this big life change that I've had and some people reaching out. And I can feel-- again, the empath-- but I can feel intuitively they actually don't really care about me. Because if they cared about me too, they would be there when nothing exciting was going on. They'd be there when I'm going through really challenging times and I'm doing it alone.

[00:17:24] They would be there for me to offer some sort of support when there was no juicy gossip. So it's sometimes people just want the scoop. They actually don't really care about us. So I think that's important to really be discerning about as we evolve, is to really get clear on who really cares about us and who likes what they get from us?

[00:17:45] Who likes that they can siphon our energy? Either outwardly, or even we feel this tug from them. They've been out of our life for two years, but we're still giving them access to our energy because we're thinking about them. We want something from them. We expect something from them, whether it's an apology or retribution or whatever.

[00:18:02] So I think being really mindful, who actually cares for us rather than who benefits from our existence and our energy and our love and our joy and just making sure that it's reciprocated.

[00:18:17] Ooh. I also wrote down, "Expression without curation is an act of self-love." So my coach was calling me out too, and this is most of us. Listen, I have my show, Rawish. I think she's just talking more personal, and I avoid social media at times for many reasons. I think because I have been on such a deep introspective inner healing journey, that it just feels a lot of it too sacred to even share publicly or on social media.

[00:18:46] If you watch or listen to my show, you see and hear a lot, but just a post on Instagram or something. A lot of stuff I'm keeping to myself just because I'm still in reflection and process and deep transformation that-- also, I think a lot of my audience knows a former version of myself that is just not here anymore.

[00:19:06] And so it's like, will they even get this? Is this too deep or out there? Or they're not on that page, so there's going to be a disconnect. And a big, big, big, big, big takeaway that I had from my coaching session today was doing it for you and having fun with it, and creating just for the sake of creating, whether people are watching or listening or supporting or not.

[00:19:27] You're watching, and you're listening, and you're supporting. And I invite everyone, whether you're in the media or not, whether you are into this or not, to create what I'm creating right now, almost this video diary and your voice text where you're just doing a stream of consciousness to your friend and having fun.

[00:19:45] I always get a lot of great feedback from my voice notes that when I leave them, I'm like, "Wow, that was long." Or, "I was saying all sorts of things. Did that even make sense?" I got this major download, and I just started talking ad nauseum for five minutes. And then my friend will be like, "That was the greatest thing I've ever heard."

[00:20:01] Then they'll leave me a10-minute voice note back, or friends will be like, "I've never done this ever, but you've got me into the voice notes." Because it's just a way to connect. But it's good for us to get out some thoughts and download and have someone witness it.

[00:20:16] So try something like this, because right now I literally just showed up. I had that coaching session. I went down. I had a snack with my friend, Nuno and Samuel at this beautiful outdoor bar space here that's just exquisite. They put me in the little blue blankets and give me the kisses on the cheek, and they're just so adorable.

[00:20:36] It's 11:04 PM here in Portugal tonight, and I'm still on LA, America time, but I'm just like, "You know what? I'm going to accept Mercy's challenge, my coach, and I'm just going to sit and hit Record and have this time, this intimate time with you where I feel like--" Because this is how I would show up.

[00:20:56] If you were a very close friend or family member, and it's international, we're meeting on Zoom or FaceTime or a voice text, this is exactly how I would show up. I didn't fix hair and makeup. I'm in my sweats. I am just pressing Record, or pressing a button like you would on FaceTime, and not concerned about any of that except for just connecting and smiling. So that's what we're doing here.

[00:21:23] I also wrote down, "Give myself some grace." So somebody needs to hear that. Give yourself some grace. I think when we go through big transitions-- and listen, the world is in a big transition right now. So I think anytime that we are upgrading our identity, stepping into a new role or season of life, releasing so many places, people, things from the past, some judgment can come up.

[00:21:47] That was something that came up for me today, is you're judging some prior versions of yourself. Why did I date that person? Why did I get involved in something so sticky? Why did I take that job? Why did I move to that city? Whatever just came up for you, that's it.

[00:22:03] And we really need to hold, not just our inner children, but our prior versions of self, even who you were last week, last month, last year. Hold those prior versions of ourselves in our arms gently and give them so much grace and give them so much compassion because they were doing the best that they could and what they had at the time.

[00:22:23] And all of those versions got us here to where we are today. And when I look around at where I am today, like I said earlier, I am in so much gratitude for the woman I was two months ago who knew to book this extraordinary experience for us, and knowing that I would be so exhausted after these three years I've had in California. And that was after COVID and everything we all went through in New York City and whatnot.

[00:22:52] I had a tumultuous but also transformational three years in California, and myself two months ago knew I'd be exhausted. I wanted peace. I wanted nature. I wanted beauty. I wanted luxury. And this has just been such a cocoon for my piece. And even I saw my coach a week ago, and I said to her, "I feel like I haven't seen you in months. I literally feel completely different even from a week ago."

[00:23:17] And I think it's because I gave myself this gift and this space and this time to rest, to rejuvenate, to reflect, to say goodbye to an old timeline. And not just stuff, but literally a whole identity. And part of that identity was a feeling that my love was a rehabilitation center for damaged broken men.

[00:23:39] Part of that identity was catering to everybody else ahead of myself. Part of that identity was I cannot show up online like this-- ill prepared, not properly dressed or hair or makeup or not feeling or looking "professional" and just talking. That's not good enough. Is anybody going to watch this?

[00:24:02] You know what? I'm watching. I'm watching myself right now, and I'm actually having fun, so ding, ding, ding. Anyway, I just think that it's so important that we honor those prior identities, but then also keep them in the past and a lot of the people who were associated with keeping that version of ourselves in a box, pressed down.

[00:24:24] There's a lot of people that benefit from us not being in our power. There's a lot of people that benefit from us not caring for ourselves, not having grace or compassion for ourselves. So just a little friendly, gentle reminder there.

[00:24:38] So I think that's just a good place for us to reflect, maybe journal. And I wrote down, "Trust the journey that brought you here." Like I said, the journey that brought me to this five-star luxury, best of the best resort. I think of the journey that brought me here, and a lot of it did not feel five-star luxury, top of the world.

[00:25:04] So how great that we can turn some [Bleep] into gold, if you will. And as we said in TV news, turn chicken [Bleep] into chicken salad when you had like a crappy story and no assets and barely any B roll, and no one would talk to you, so you had no sound bites. We would turn that [Bleep] into salad, at least, to present on the news.

[00:25:24] So trusting the journey that brought you here. That's such an important message and something that I don't think any of us reflect on enough. Because, and I'm guilty of this too, we get to the five star resort of our dreams and we think, well, I should be here with my dream husband. Where is he? Or we think it's all fun and games until this bill comes and I don't have the money I want coming in at the moment.

[00:25:52] And it's just like, okay, let's stop right there. We're going to stop right there. And that's, for me, another practice of-- and this is a lot of people, do not talk about this with an accountant or anybody because they will definitely judge you and think you're insane. But again, it's the universe testing.

[00:26:07] How much do you trust? We're about to shower you with all of these opportunities and all this abundance. You don't trust? All right, we'll slow it down. So again, for me, so many of these things that I preach and practice, I do because I'm like, "I'm ready for my stuff to come in. Don't want to block it. Don't want to mess with it."

[00:26:23] And I think it is such a spiritual practice to trust even when it looks like nothing's happening, even when it looks like the bills are not going to be paid on time, even if it looks like you're being financially irresponsible, even if it looks like, who am I to splurge or give myself this queen treatment when I am not making a million dollars a week? Why am I doing this?

[00:26:43] So it's a practice, and I will just say that. But I think trusting the journey that gets you to this spot. And if you're in a spot that you don't like right now, trust the journey that brought you to this place, and that for whatever reason you're listening to this, that you can switch.

[00:26:57] Because I'm telling you, just a couple of weeks ago, different place. Or when Air France lost my luggage eight days ago or whatever it was, much different place than I am now. And how quickly things can turn around. But I think they turn around quickly when we're in acceptance and when we're willing to stay calm and trust that things are all working out behind the scenes.

[00:27:19] And for whatever reason, you need it to be delayed in getting to where you're going. For whatever reason, sometimes in the worst of the worst circumstances, we learn and we grow so much. And then when you get to the piece of the resort and you have nothing on your agenda that day, then to sleep and eat and stare at the ocean and be served delicious food by cute Portuguese men.

[00:27:43] It's able to impact you even deeper. And there's even greater appreciation. For me, just being reunited with my face wash and toothbrush. Best day ever. So trust the journey that brought you to this moment.

[00:27:57] Something else that I wrote down today is, "Not a risk, but a guarantee." So if you decide to take a risk in your business, take a leap of faith and move, leave your home, leave your country, any risk that you take where you're stepping into the unknown and you look at that risk as a guarantee of your success, you look at it as instead of what if this doesn't happen or what if this, if you look at that risk as I'm taking this huge leap of faith and therefore the universe is going to shower me with opportunities or meeting the right people or money or connections or emails, phone calls, whatever, if you choose to believe that it's not a risk, but it's a guarantee, how differently would you show up?

[00:28:45] If I knew sitting here today-- I thought about this at dinner, and nothing much changed because I already 99.999% am there. But it's like if you knew that on July 1st you were moving into your dream apartment, in your dream city, and starting a new dream opportunity, how differently would you feel right now? Or what would you feel right now? Or what would you do with this next month and a half before you start this dream upon dream, upon dream? What would you do?

[00:29:15] For me, I feel that too. It's like, if you're going to meet your husband next month, what are you doing differently? I'm like, "I've been preparing for my husband." But how would you prepare your home, your body, your space? And in these seasons of letting go, a lot of people get left behind, and a lot of them leave you behind because you're just not a match anymore. You're out of alignment. It's an energetic mismatch.

[00:29:38] But I know when feel people, places, things leaving my life. Even I was asking a friend about, I had a moment of, I can't believe I just paid all these bills yesterday. And I'm like, "I'm grateful I could pay them all off." And then another part of me was like, man, I just donated $25,000 worth of stuff. I could use that money. I'm releasing this stuff, but I'm like, "I'd love to have someone give me a check for 25 grand with all the things I gave away." Then I had to go into, you just created space for 10 times more, or infinity times more of that.

[00:30:10] Like 25,000? What if you get 25 million? What if you get 5 million? What if you get 26,000? Whatever it is. But the importance of really clearing out space in our minds, in our bodies, in our closets, in our homes, in our energy. Just clearing it out and making space. I'd rather clear out 20 people who don't really love or support me and make the space for one true, best friend who I can talk to like this.

[00:30:38] We're doing FaceTime like this. I can share my fears. I can more importantly share my successes and celebrations without the envy, without the jealousy, without the comparison, without the judgment, without the bad, weird vibes. Like the how happy your dog is to see you.

[00:30:53] That's how genuinely happy they are, that you just signed some multimillion-dollar contract as opposed to them making it about them and they don't have that contract. Or you got it for some reason that they're going to make an excuse why it couldn't happen for them. So just saying.

[00:31:10] We were talking about trust, but I wrote down, "You leaned into trust and look at what it's done for you." So I'd love for you to think of a time that you leaned into trust and what it did for you. And if you're feeling a little called out, like I felt called out in my coaching session today, where are you not trusting? Where do you need to trust more? Even if you're at 99% of something, where can you get it to 100% trust? And think about if you trust 100%, not just the universe, not just universe, you trust you 100%, how are you showing up differently?

[00:31:46] How differently are you speaking to yourself and others? What risks that are guarantees are you taking? That's my new thing. It's not a risk. It's a guarantee. What risk that is a guarantee are you taking and making boldly, unapologetically, not needing to tell anybody what you're doing, but also feeling confident enough that you could tell everybody because you're that sure. You're trusting that much.

[00:32:11] Dreams. Wanted to talk to you a little bit about dreams. I had one of the most vivid dreams of my life last night. I guess more like this morning. And it was so intense and involved a ex-partner man from my past, a romantic partner, and I woke myself up because it was like all those dynamics that I did not want to entertain anymore-- the lust, the betrayal, the-- I don't even have the words for it right now-- darkness. The darkness.

[00:32:45] Someone who was very attracted to my light, and he had a lot of darkness, and I was in an identity where I thought my love, my light can save him, can bring him out of the darkness, into the light. It is my job to help him and love him enough so that he loves himself and makes better decisions. And even just saying that out loud, I am, again, have compassion and grace and love for that identity, but so glad that I'm no longer there.

[00:33:18] But I woke myself up out of that. I opened up the blinds, let the sun in, open the doors, let the sea breeze in because I'm like, "We are not doing this anymore." And so I had to sit with it this morning because it brought up a lot. And the first thing it brought up was when I think someone from the past comes up so significantly and you think I'm over this, your mind says, "I'm over it."

[00:33:36] But it's your subconscious. It's the cells in your body. You're detoxing. You may finally be in a place where you are resting and recalibrating, and you have the space, mind, body, spirit to even process or have this come to the surface so that you can release it once or for all.

[00:33:51] But you are going to need to be gentle with yourself because this came up. And I really felt that it was just this old identity completely dying off. It was saying goodbye to this version of myself who tolerated mistreatment, who tolerated crumbs, who thought it was her job to fix and save and love some man into wholeness while completely abandoning herself.

[00:34:14] And I think that was a big theme, is we're no longer abandoning ourselves. And on the other side of that, when we stop abandoning ourselves, that's when it's easy to trust, because that's when things really start flowing for you. And that's when you become the woman or the man who gets these gigantic opportunities, who is dating or married to just such an exquisite person who's also done the work, who has friends, who lift you up, who gets to come on these dream trips.

[00:34:41] I really feel that that is just a natural state of affairs when you stop self-abandoning. And so that's been a huge theme or concept for me. That was a huge takeaway from this experience that brought up some emotions this morning. It wasn't boohoo. It was more crying, that I just felt so present. More crying, and that I have reached this full and whole new identity.

[00:35:02] It was crying and just releasing that man and letting him have his karma and letting me have mine as well. And so I think then people from the past are coming up like that, or maybe it's someone who's in your space now and it's time to clear that energy and stop self-abandoning.

[00:35:22] And again, my email is always open, and please reach out to me because I think this is something that we all are guilty of doing. And even we reach a certain level of success or healing, but I think a lot of times we're taught a default setting of self-abandonment because we need to people please. We need to keep other people happy.

[00:35:41] We want to be loved. We want to feel safe. And sadly, that has often meant that we are abandoning ourselves. So I think that's another theme and concept to look into. I hope everyone thinks about it or at least journals about this. And I'm happy to talk to you about it. Please send me any questions because I want to create this open dialogue.

[00:36:02] Again, we're voice note friends now. We are Facebook friends-- not Facebook friends, FaceTime friends. We're FaceTiming. We're leaving our voice notes. So send me something raw and real and unfiltered about your experience with what you got going on right now, where you are with your current identity, identities you've left behind, what you are stepping into, and let's have some FaceTime. Let's do it. Let's do it.

[00:36:30] So something else that my coach challenged me with and is what I hope I'm doing right here is letting people in. Letting them see us and all our glory. And this image, I think of, those really, really close friends or when I visit my parents, and I'm just me and all my glory.

[00:36:50] Pajamas. It's just like the image of me in pajamas, which I have my pajama pants on and my slippers on right now. I did not pack that great for this trip. I've all these beautiful dresses, and it's been a little chilly. And last minute, I threw this jacket in, another jacket in. And thank God because I'm living in these jackets, and I'm so sick of them. But anyway, it's going to warm up, and I'm grateful I have these.

[00:37:12] So letting people in. Why is it so hard to let people in? Again, we're scared of being judged. We judge ourselves. I think we have let people in. Certainly when we're kids, we don't have all these guards up. But I think it's scary to let people in because we get betrayed. People judge us. People hurt us, and so we think, well, screw that. I have to put up all these, again, energetic fields.

[00:37:34] I have to put up all these walls. So then if you don't like me, you really just didn't like my wall. You really just didn't like my shield. You really just didn't like my hair. It's not me. And I think I'm speaking to why my solo episodes are so confronting. Because maybe if someone doesn't like an episode, they don't like the topic, or they don't resonate with my guests for whatever reason, or they're not ready to take on child trafficking, like with Paul Hutchinson's episode.

[00:38:01] But when it's just me, it's like, they don't like me, or what I'm saying is not valuable enough, or I'm not changing their life with every sentence I'm saying. So why bother? And that goes back to, are you changing your own life by doing a video diary? Are you having fun doing an episode like this?

[00:38:22] I'm personally having a good time because I can feel your energy. Obviously I can't see you, but I can see myself. And I'm just like, "Good job, girl, showing up like this. I don't know what's happening with your hair, but we don't care because this is not an episode about hair. We're not doing a hair tutorial."

[00:38:40] I am no longer on QVC doing that. Thank you. Hallelujah. Amen. Although I'm grateful for the experience. But that's not what we're doing anymore. And that's the beauty of it. That's one of the reasons I created this show where we just get to be real and raw and we're not at the mercy of some corporation who hates us and always tells us what's wrong with us and censors us and whatnot. So, yeah.

[00:39:06] What was I talking about? Letting people in and why that is sometimes challenging. And that goes along with self-abandoning, but I think first and foremost we have to let ourselves in and going back to sitting with ourselves. But I highly recommend the sit and stare. You just sit.

[00:39:23] Ideally, you are staring at something beautiful and captivating and inspiring and beautiful that makes you feel. And I've just been reflecting and reflecting and reflecting, and I can feel how much it has changed me. And yes, you have to carve out the time and space for this. And yes, I understand people have bills and responsibilities and children or husbands or wives or jobs or bosses. I get it. I'm a woman of the world myself.

[00:39:49] But I am finding, and it sounds very counterintuitive, and I hear these downloads from spirit, so that is true to me. I hear it. I feel it. I know it. When we make time for proper rest, when we make time to create peace within and around ourselves, when we take this time to really slow down and sit with ourselves, and see ourselves, I promise you, it may not happen in five minutes or even five days, or even five weeks, but I promise you, you become an energetic match for your desires.

[00:40:28] You get to have this life that fills you up. Things start to align. Things start to fall away. It sounds and feels like magic, but it isn't. You are the magic. Even I got this download the other day that says-- because everyone always wants proof-- well, how do I know if I do this, it'll lead to that? We never know.

[00:40:49] We don't know if we're going to wake up tomorrow. God willing, we all do. But a download I got recently, which I just thought was epic, I'm like, "Thank you Spirit." But see, I get these downloads. The downloads that I get, when I do post them, those are the ones that go viral when it's straight from spirit.

[00:41:05] I'm just the vessel for it. And I heard, "You don't need proof. You are the proof." And I think that's the thing now. You don't need proof. You are the proof. You don't need magic. You are the magic.

[00:41:16] So I think when we start shifting our focus and our frame of mind to that and decentering everything and everyone else, and really centering ourselves and our piece, and us being the proof and us being the magic, you will see the shift in transformation. I am proof of that. How about that?

[00:41:35] Okay. And raw radiance came up in my episode with Scott Mason recently, and it is this notion that Rawish is about raw emotion and transformation through truth telling and the medicine that is storytelling. And so it was always thinking more like raw emotion. And for me it's been a lot of tears, happy tears, sad tears, transformational tears.

[00:42:01] And Scott says something to me, and as I look at myself right now recording this, I can see it. I can see that I am not all done up, but I see and experience my raw radiance because I'm willing to just show up here and connect with myself and connect with you in an authentic way.

[00:42:20] And I'm now really owning after my coaching session today that whether anyone's listening or anyone likes this or anyone's finding value, I'm listening. I like this, and I find value. And so that's enough, and I'm enough. And it sounds so simple and elementary, but it's something that I was struggling with literally hours ago. This having to be perfect, having to just be enough, whatever that even means.

[00:42:47] And I feel like if I'm not reinventing the wheel, then why bother? And that's been a big shift in breakthrough for me today. And I love that I'm just here doing this, and I hope you like it. But if you don't, that's okay too, because I like it. So I would love for you to create from that space because can you imagine if we all created from that space and created just for the sake of creating art, whatever art even means for us?

[00:43:14] Can you imagine? And I just heard-- I call them downloads. I was about to say hope you don't think that is weird, but I don't care if you do. It's not weird for me. As I said this, I got a download that showed me Billie Eilish. She won the Grammy for her song from the movie Barbie.

[00:43:33] That song. I'm sorry if your ears are bleeding. I'm the worst singer. What Was I Made For? I believe that's the name of the song-- What Was I Made For? Great song, great movie. And someone was interviewing her, and I'll never forget this, which means it's the truth, the deep truth.

[00:43:52] They're asking her about writing and recording this Grammy-winning song. And she said, "When I sat down to write this song, literally the last thing I was thinking of is I have to write a Grammy-winning song right now." And I love that because if that was her intention, she probably wouldn't have written that song. The song wouldn't have been as good, and she wouldn't have won the Grammy.

[00:44:16] And so it was more just the art. She really got into the feeling and the message of that film, and it was really profound for her and really meaningful for her. And so from that place of inspiration, she wrote this song without ever thinking of a Grammy or awards or any of that.

[00:44:32] It was more just doing justice to this beautiful message and meaning from Barbie. So I love that, and that really inspires me. Anyway, forgot what point I was making. Oh, the raw radiance. We're talking about raw radiance and that glow that comes from, again, the willingness to sit with ourselves, to see ourselves, to be with ourselves.

[00:44:57] The radiance that comes from that peace of mind, that we're trying our best, that we're exactly where we're meant to be, even if we technically think we should be somewhere else because of our age or work that we've done in the world. That this is perfect, where we are now, the radiance that comes from being present, from trusting, from appreciating where you are now, wherever that is. And that you got yourself here.

[00:45:26] And even if you're in place that you are not feeling right now, that you have the power and trust that you have the power to choose again, to make a decision, to get you to another place. And someone that I know keeps coming to mind, and I know she's not in her best favorite place right now, but she is such an extraordinary woman, and I know that she can take herself anywhere she wants to go.

[00:45:50] She just has to choose. It's not that she has to believe because she can do it, but it's just she has to decide that today is the day and I've had enough and this is what I'm doing and where I'm going. So I'll leave it at that.

[00:46:00] Okay. Wow. This time has gone really fast. Another thing I wrote down is the importance of sharing our own unique point of view. And I pushed back at my coach and said, "Who cares?" Or, "What if someone thinks, well, I only have 10 followers, or, I'm not a public figure, or I'm not an expert, or I don't have my Harvard PhD?" Who cares?

[00:46:24] Who cares what I think? You should care what you think. You care what you think, you love what you think, and that's enough. And I think that's a huge message for me today, is letting that be enough, that I care about my point of view. I care what I think. I love my point of view. I love it. And being courageous enough and confident enough to share it, at least with yourself in a video diary, in your journal, to a trusted friend, to your coach, to your therapist, to me.

[00:46:58] Here I am. You can reach out to me anytime kate@kateeckman.tv. There you go. So I think today is just a big invitation. It's a permission slip that we didn't need. It's an invitation. It's an encouragement. It's a love pat. It's a big hug. It's an energetic kiss to start showing up in our raw radiance and trusting that the right words will come out.

[00:47:31] Trusting in ourselves to make decisions that serve this version and identity with ourselves while leaving behind and having grace and compassion and appreciation for prior versions who got us here. And I think this is just an opportunity for all of us to really even decide what it means. And I think it's just an opportunity for us to decide our journey and take some time to reflect on the journey that brought us here to this moment. And then also, where do we want to go from here? What lights us up? Who lights us up?

[00:48:06] I am deciding now that I think that I have said enough, and you can see my raw radiance. It's a testament to when we just get challenged a little bit by someone who loves and cares for us, and we just decide that I'm not going to wait.

[00:48:23] I'm going to do the thing now. I'm just going to challenge myself. I'm going to have fun with it. I'm going to play with my hair because, sorry, it's driving me crazy and it's a mess. But that's part of this too, is that what I'm saying and how I'm connecting with myself and you is more important than the hair.

[00:48:42] So I'm going to own that. And my hair is a huge part of my identity. It's a huge expense. It's a huge thing to deal with. I love it. But it's a lot. So I think that's the message here too, is just being willing to sit with ourselves, to see ourselves, to show up, to do the thing, to trust ourselves, to trust that we are adding value, to trust that the right people will see us and hear us, and listen to us and have a takeaway that they will then take and say something or do something to inspire the people in their communities and their lives, and we will create this ripple effect of showing up in our raw radiance and being willing to see ourselves and experience ourselves and sit with ourselves through all of it.

[00:49:29] And just create a whole new life and identity for ourselves built on the truth, built on being real. Not just paying lip service to it, but showing up and doing it even when it's uncomfortable, even when we trust or don't trust, I'll say, even when we worry, I'll say, that what we're saying or doing or how we're looking or whatever isn't enough. I promise it is. If you were showing up and doing it, it is enough.

[00:49:55] Now I'm getting all preachy and whatnot, but all of this to say thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you. We are in this together. I had an absolute blast taking on this challenge and coming on and connecting here with you.

[00:50:09] So I'm so excited to see and hear what you do from this message. Let's just change and light up the world together. And I'm excited to see where your journey takes you next and for you to honor the man or woman who got you here to this very moment. You're the best. We made it. We did it. I'll see you next time everybody. Bye.